Question: Where's my pants?
by Pikana
Summary: Inspired by the song 'Gimme back my pants' by Len Kagamine. Poor Lucas... waking up one morning to find his underwear missing. First his socks, then this... And to make it worse, Toon Link and Ness are suffering as well! Not really crack...


Where's my pants?!

I don't own Vocaloids or Super Smash brothers! If you are wondering why I'm talking about Vocaloids, look up _'Len give me back my pants' _in google. Len is so cute in that! So why can't Lucas be?

Okay, read on!

* * *

Lucas' PoV

Softly I groaned as I sat up in my bed. My alarm clock was going off, meaning Master Hand needed me to fight today. But I wasn't really looking forward to it. I'd just gotten over a virus and I still didn't feel too hot. The flu isn't something you recover from too quickly. Master Hand needed to be more careful when he bought food from the market… especially when the food was very over expired. It didn't help that he had a whole line up of fights for me to work on today. The fact that Ness was teaming with me in most of them helped though. Ness didn't crack the metaphorical whip when he knew I didn't feel too well.

I climbed out of bed and went to change out of my yellow pajamas. I pulled on my usual attire. Fixed the shirt. Attempted to make my blonde hair presentable. Placed the belt through the material of my shorts. Went to put on my footwear and froze. All of my socks were gone. The small white ones that I always wore with my outfit. Where in the world-?

...Ah...I guess my room mate Toon Link took them or something. Probably trying to get me to fall for his practical joke and make me wear Ness' disgusting ones or his. Well I'd show him.

I left the room, barefoot.

* * *

The next day began much the same way. Wake up, feel like crap for a minute, then get dressed.

My socks didn't come back. Instead all of my good blue shorts were gone too!

My _shorts!_

Toon Link was going to pay for this.

I knew he was behind it. Again, I'd show him I wasn't afraid of his antics. I had to be brave and I also had another pair of shorts I kept hidden in my closet for such an occasion.

They were a little old, but still perfectly wearable. I put those on and left the room.

When I got to the arena, Master Hand didn't seem to notice anything different. Toon Link and Ness, my best friends, however did.

"Geez, Lucas, first you come to the stage with no shoes on and now you're wearing your old shorts too?" Ness asked.

"Well if someone would stop stealing my clothes..." I whined, blushing a little and stared at Toon Link. It was embarrassing like this. I wish he'd stop stealing everything. I wasn't going to wear any of his clothes… or Nana's. Oh man, if Toon Link got me to wear Nana's clothes because I lost mine I would kill him. Last time, fangirls attacked me. I didn't like cross dressing.... even though it seemed to happen to me a lot.

"What's with that tone?" Toon Link asked, raising one of his brows. "You think it was me, who took your clothes, don't you?" He accused, poking one finger into my shoulder.

"Well who else would steal my clothes for no reason?" I argued back.

"Random fangirls who got into your room? I don't know!" Toon Link shot back. "All I know is that it's not me. I swear, Lucas." With this statement he drew a heart on her chest with her finger, and then drew a line through it.

"Cross my heart and hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye and whatever comes after it," he said before Ness copied him. I sighed, trusting them completely, and scratched the back of my head.

"So...you haven't been taking my clothes?" I asked. Both my friends shook their heads no. "Well then, who has?" I thought aloud.

"Maybe Samus and Jigglypuff are playing another joke on you. Or maybe even Nana. I doubt it was Zelda or Peach. Perhaps Red or another guy has found his inner pervert?" Ness named, counting on his fingers. I shuddered.

Please, dear God, don't let it be the last one!

* * *

The next morning I had a day off. I groaned and rolled over onto my side to escape the bright sunlight coming through my window. I was feeling a little better today, but I still felt like crap. Better to just sleep in today. If only I had some curtains for these windows. Oh well. I'd get over it if I pulled the comforter up over my eyes.

Suddenly though, I realized something wasn't right. Something was definitely not right. I could feel the blanket move against my skin as I pulled it up. That wasn't supposed to happen. The leg of my pajama pants should have prevented that. Oh, dear lord. Don't tell me....

Hesitantly I peered under my blanket.

Oh for the love of all things holy! Where are my pants?! I sat up quickly, face bright red as I looked farther under the blanket, hoping that perhaps I'd kicked them off in my sleep. No such luck.

That's not the only problem though. Not only were my pajama pants gone. But so were my...other pants. You know. The ones that go _beneath _the pajama pants. I got out of bed and looked in the dresser. All my pants/underwear was gone! Every single pair. Looked in the closet. Both pairs of my shorts were gone now. My socks were still missing. All I had left were the clothes that went on the upper body which mainly were just my striped red and yellow shirts.

What was I going to do now? I couldn't walk outside this room without pants! Or any kind of cloth down there in general! Everyone would see...and my backside too! Oh craaaaap!

Suddenly I had a thought. I looked in Ness' side of the dresser. I was surprised to find that his...clothes were gone too. Ok. So he was telling the truth and when I checked the Toon Link's side, there were none of his cream tights- wait. Are they walking around somewhere without any panties on?! That's unsanitary!

Why am I thinking about this now?!

I needed to find some pants....

I searched desperately around the room, trying to find some sort of cover. But as you can guess everything was gone. Even Toon Link's extra tights. Not that I would wear those. Ok. maybe I would just so I could leave the room. But this was ridiculous! Who kept stealing my clothes?

"Hey, Lucas! Are you up yet?!" I heard the yell of Snake come from the living room. It was only directly below my room so I could easily hear his voice.

"U-Um...Yes!" I called.

"Come in here for a second! Samusexy got you some ice-"

"I told you not to call me that!" Samus' voice interrupted. I then heard a loud thump followed by a yelp of pain.

"Er....J-just a second!" I called. Oh jeez. Now what? If I told them I didn't have any pants they would laugh at me, wouldn't they? Argh! This is so embarrassing!

I found that if I put on my normal shirt it hung low on me. It would cover me completely if I slouched a bit. Though....

This definitely made me look shota-y... Uggh… wish I never used Wikipedia to find out what a shota was.

Meh....

"Hey, Lucas! You're ice cream's gonna melt if you don't come out!" I heard Ness call.

"Yeah! Hurry up and grab some! It's not every day we get ice cream for breakfast!" Toon Link yelled. Toony and Ness! They'd help me, right?!

Cautiously I poked my head around my door, seeing that no one was around, I snuck downstairs and looked into the living room. Snake and Samus were on the couch. Toon Link, Nana and Popo were sitting on the floor, and Ness was in the chair beside the couch. All of them were talking happily and eating ice cream that apparently Samus had gotten for everyone. Ness had mine in his other hand. It was obviously banana flavored, my favourite.

Ness and Toony weren't wearing their shorts. They both each had one of Popo's short bottoms on. I bet that irked them. Someone stealing their clothes as well.

"Hey, there he is!" Popo called, noticing me.

"Uh...." I stammered, looking away. I needed to be a man, and just ask. "H-h-h-....Uh..." COME ON LUCAS! YOU CAN DO IT! BE BRAVE!

"What? We can't hear you! Come in here, your ice cream is going to melt," Samus said, waving me over. I blushed and tightly shut my eyes.

"H-have any of you-?!" I began but was suddenly struck silent as someone pulled me from the doorway. I stumbled into the hall, barefoot and pants less. I squeaked and pulled the hem of my shirt down over myself. I closed my eyes, feeling the heat of embarrassment burn in my face.

"Whoa! That's my Lucas! Fight the power!" I heard Snake shout, laughing in his low voice. I groaned and let my chin hit my chest.

"....Someone took your pants, didn't they?" I heard a voice that I recognized to be Toon Link say beside me. He must have been the one to pull me from the secrecy of the doorway. I'm going to kill him... later.

"Mhm..." I whined, and nodded.

"Toon Link and I as well....come on..." Ness said as he got up, and pushed me back into the room. The last thing I saw before the door closed was Nana putting a napkin to her bleeding nose.

You know what's more embarrassing than being seen without your pants? Being seen in _someone else's_ pants. Or Popo's anyway.

It was going to be a few hours until someone got back from the store with some new pants for both me and the other two and let me tell you they were both really pissed about the whole thing. Apparently someone had taken their socks and shorts as well. All of us were naked from the waist down upon waking up this morning. Except they'd had Popo help them before anyone noticed. I had to be the one who got caught with their pants down....so to speak.

I hate my life.

* * *

Nana couldn't look at me since this morning. Every time she did she'd get another nosebleed. And Samus would blush and look at something else in the room. And then Snake would just embarrass me some more by talking about it and telling everyone that I was training to be a nudist while Popo just laughed out loud. I wasn't training to be anything that required me to be naked! I like clothes! They're comfy!

"Cheer up, Lucas. It's not that bad," Ness tried to comfort me, patting my shoulder a little.

"Yes it is," I sighed. "Everyone... saw."

"Not everyone. There were only the other three in the room," Toony said pulling a grin in an attempt to cheer me up.

"So? By now everyone would have heard about it."

"Oh, stop being a grump," Ness said, pulling at my cheeks and laughing. "You're just mad because everyone thinks you have a cute butt."

"Do _you _think that?" I asked. It was difficult to talk with Ness tugging at my face. Suddenly he dropped it and scowled while Toony began laughing hysterically.

"Eww… no."

"Hello, everyone!" A sudden call interrupted him. We all turned to see the giant gloved hand floating into the room.

"Good morning, Master Hand!" Peach chirped happily as she walked in from the kitchen

"Good morning, Princess Toadstool," Master Hand replied, patting the girl's head.

"Master, we have a thief in here," Ness said. "Someone's stolen Toony's, mine and Lucas'...uh...lower clothing." I nodded in agreement. Master looked at us for a moment, probably taking in our appearance. Our clothes must look odd. For me it was just Lucas on the top, Climber on the bottom.

...That sounded wrong.

But then Master Hand sighed, and I swear if he could, he smiled.

"Oh, that? I took them," he said.

"What?!" We all exclaimed at the same time to Peach's amusement.

"Yeah. I sold your pants on the Internet," Master Hand said, brushing some dust off him. As if this was nothing important.

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

"Hey, gotta make money somehow. I figured younger smasher products would hit it big with the fangirls."

"So you sold our _pants?_"

"Yup!" Master Hand said cheerfully.

Simultaneously the three of us slapped our palms to our faces.

"Okay-a, you three! I got-a you guys some more- Oh, hello, Master Hand," Mario smiled as he noticed the floating giant glove.

"Good morning, Mario. Are those for the boys?" Master pointed at the bags in his hands.

"Yup. Seems they-a ran into some trouble with-a the underwear Goombas," He laughed at his own joke. I groaned and rolled my eyes.

"Shut up," Toon Link grumbled.

"Oh, um-a but seriously Master Hand, I think something is wrong. Because-a this morning I woke up and-a couldn't find my favorite hat." Mario said, seriously as he tapped his older one on his head. Master gave the three of us small thumbs up when the plumber weren't looking.

Face palm.

* * *

My does of crack for today! REVIEW!


End file.
